Fade Out

In a recent comment, Heidi Lou asked how Aunt Mary was. Fortunately, I made time to visit Aunt Mary last weekend. Overall, I was pleased with what I saw.

For the last seven months, Aunt Mary has been in and out of hospitals, nursing homes, rehabilitation centers and Hospice. She fell in October 2008 and developed a bad bacterial infection that they could not adequately control. She developed other complications and reactions to medications and was in bad shape for the longest time. Her children, my cousins, Sportsfan and Lee, traveled many weekends from Orlando and DC, respectively, to look after their mother. They’ve done a yeoman’s job. Although they really wanted to move Aunt Mary to a nursing home near Sportsfan in Orlando, they ultimately decided to bring their mother back to her condo with round-the-clock care from an aide and a Hospice nurse.

Let me tell you, those caregivers are amazing. I walked into the condo yesterday and found it spotlessly clean. Everywhere. The place did not smell of “old people,” or decay or food or illness. Aunt Mary was lying in a hospital bed that Lee set up in the living room. There was a small television nearby, tuned to Aunt Mary’s favorite channel, CNN. The curtains and windows were open on the sunporch, letting in some soft sunlight and fresh air. Aunt Mary was dressed in a clean hospital gown and a clean turban. The sheets were all clean and tidy, just like she would have kept them herself. The aide had just fed Aunt Mary her lunch, and everything was cleaned up nicely.

Life’s Circle

Life completed another circle this week. My late father’s cousin, M, died of complications from diabetes. M and Dad were two of 33 first cousins at one time. M and his wife, S, were second parents to me when I moved to Miami in the mid-1980s. I attended law school, and they welcomed me with open arms, making me feel like a part of their immediate family. M was loud and more than opinionated, but his heart was in the right place. I have to go to Miami on Sunday to pay my condolences.

On May 14th, Niece T, who lives in Israel, gave birth to her second child. It’s a boy, and he and the mama are healthy. Niece T and her husband are Orthodox Jews, like The Egg, so the baby will receive his name at his Brit Milah, next week when he is 8 days old.

WT enjoys Spring Break near home.

Most importantly, on May 14th Wild Thing turned 10 years old. I regret my father wasn’t alive to help us celebrate this birthday, and I will regret Dad’s not living to witness WT’s Bar Mitzvah in three years. Although Dad never played favorites, WT always had a special place in his heart. Until his dying day, Dad considered WT a wunderkind. If you don’t know WT’s birth story, you may read it here. It is a pregnancy horror story, and it’s not for the faint of heart.

JazzFest 2009

The Testosterone Zone recently returned from its annual pilgrimage to The Big Easy. We were delighted to attend the 40th Annual New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival. Big kudos go out to Shell, Inc. for continuing its corporate sponsorship of this amazing event. Acura, Peoples Health, WWOZ, and the Sheraton New Orleans are also commended for their continuing support of JazzFest. In that same vein, I’d like to know why  Cox Cable stepped out and why the Ochsner Hospital or Foundation has not yet stepped up to the plate.

Civic observations:  The face of New Orleans improves a little bit every year since Hurricane Katrina. Overall, Uptown, the Garden District, the Riverbend, Mid-City, Metairie, East Jefferson, Fauborg St. John, and Fauborg Marigny are looking better. Houses have been repainted, gardens replanted; new businesses opened and are thriving somewhat. The Warehouse District, the French Quarter, and the CBD appear to be doing as well as ever. Treme is cleaner than it used to be, what with the impound lot gone, but it’s still woefully depressed and rundown. Tulane Hospital is open downtown, but Charity is still shuttered. Ochsner Hospital bought out Baptist a while ago and recently re-opened the Baptist emergency room. Ochsner’s own campus out in Jefferson is ever-gleaming and growing. However, Ochsner needs to funnel some of its millions into a full renovation of its on-site hotel, Brent House, which is tattered and dated and looking quite ratty in areas.

It was another awesome year of entertainment, food, and crafts at this year’s JazzFest. We planned to attend the second weekend of the Fest and arrived on Wednesday, April 29, 2009. [For those who don't know, JazzFest occurs every year over a two-week period spanning the last weekend of April and the first weekend of May.] The air was sunny and thick with jasmine when we landed. We dropped our bags at the Brent House and then headed out to Restaurant Cypress for dinner. Cypress is an old-timey Creole place out in Metairie. It received a Zagat’s 27 for food, but we found it overrated. The food was good but not great — soups were good, salads disappointed, softshell crab way overdone. (Note to self, avoid duck salad with fig vinaigrette. It made me sick.) Afterwards, WineGuy insisted on sampling snowballs at Casey’s before stopping at the House du Dogue to pick up our ponchos and camp chairs. The House du Dogue really belongs to WG’s long-time friend, Lulu, and her husband. They store our JazzFest gear from year to year.

Thursday, April 30, 2009 was the first day of the second weekend of the Fest. We headed down to the French Quarter to properly inaugurate the weekend. We started with breakfast at Stanley, which featured a delectable Bananas Foster French Toast. Wild Thing consumed every last bit of this dish. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any room left for beignets and hot chocolate  at Café du Monde — a post-breakfast snack. Moose put away four of those fried, sugary pillows even after eating a big breakfast!

We waddled over to the Fest and kicked off the weekend. Our first stop was Contemporary Crafts. In addition to all that wonderful music, JazzFest sponsors a huge craft show. There are Contemporary Crafts, Louisiana Heritage Crafts, and Congo Square Crafts (usually geared towards the country featured that year at the Fest). I bought a very modern pair of sterling silver and pearl earrings. Then we plopped down at the Heritage Stage to listen to the Paulin Brothers Band. Afterwards, we wandered over to Fais Do Do and listened to a rockin’ set by Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys, whose Southern rock roots are reminiscent of Molly Hatchet. I loved it! We stayed at that stage through part of another set until it was time for Emmylou Harris to play. Let’s just say that WineGuy really enjoyed her set; the rest of us merely tolerated it. We hiked back to the car and headed into the Riverbend for dinner. We tried Le Boucherie, a brand-new restaurant brought to you by the guys who run the purple truck outside Tipitina’s every night. Boucherie had little in the way of decor but lots in the way of flavor and presentation. WG’s duck confit and salad were delectable as was my pan-seared snapper over broccoflower couscous. The garlic and parmesan french fries were finger-lickin’ good! Unfortunately, Boucherie’s portions were small, and we all left there hungry. However, that gave us a chance to try dessert and/or more food at Crepes a la Cart. Surprisingly, Crepes a la Cart is a franchise out of Colorado. They opened a tiny place on the edge of Tulane’s campus and are doing a huge business there. Wizard and I opted for more dinner in the guise of a crepe florentine and crepe a la montaigne, respectively. The rest of the bunch opted for dessert crepes containing all manner of chocolate, Nutella, angel food cake, and fruit. They all were fabulous and incredibly cheap. I don’t know how we slept after all that food, but we did.

Friday dawned, and a fever bloomed in Moose. We dosed him with ibuprofen and some allergy  medicine and headed out. We skipped breakfast in favor of an early lunch consisting of po’boys from our favorite haunt, Crabby Jack’s, right down the street from the hotel. We picked up duck, shrimp, and oyster po’boys and had an impromptu picnic in an impromptu park right near the Fairgrounds. Bellies full, we waddled into the Friday Fest. For once, we did something smart and set up a “camp” at the Acura Stage; we planned to listen to three of the five big acts scheduled there that hot, sunny day. Wild Thing won the gold star for the day by helping care for Moose as he convalesced. WT rigged up an old sheet to our camp chairs and made a tent under which Moose could stay shaded. Bravo WT! We slurped snowballs the whole day and basked in the swampy tones of Beausoleil avec Michael Doucet, Marcia Ball, and the very extraordindary Bonnie Raitt. Although Wizard wanted to hear Musiq Soulchild at another outdoor stage, we opted to hear the Poncho Sanchez Latin Jazz Band in the shady, misty Jazz Tent. We stayed for part of that set and heard the last few bars of Tony Bennett’s performance at the Gentilly Stage. That was enough. Friday night’s dinner was in the über-chic Warehouse District at La Boca, an Argentine steakhouse and sister restaurant to Adolfo Garcia’s Riomar (where we ate last year). The skirt steaks were particularly good as was the baked corn pudding. We had dessert elsewhere as WG insisted on performing a comparison between neighboring gelaterias La Divina Gelateria and Sucré. LDG won by a fat molecule.

Saturday found Moose feeling a little better, but Wild Thing was coming down with something — first a bad attitude and and then a bad headache. We dosed both of them with whatever medicine we had and returned to the Fest. Our favorite children’s performer, Johnette Downing, kicked off the day with Moose’s favorite, “Wiggle Worms”. Sadly, we realized — and Moose informed us — that we are all now too old for little kids’ music. Sniff … no more Johnette. From there we went to worship the Rama of  Bone — Bonerama, a New Orleans brass funk band consisting of 5 trombones and a tuba. They funkin’ rock! Did I mention there are also cooking demonstrations at JazzFest? Over the years, we’ve seen Susan Spicer, John Besh, and Donald Link cooking up close and personal. This year, we saw some dumbass from the Louisiana Alligator Association slop together alligator sauce piquante. Hey, Quint Davis! Don’t invite him back. We salvaged the rest of the afternoon with a little Jewish soul music from the New Orleans Klezmer All-Stars. The highlight of the day was hearing Jon Bon Jovi’s entire set at the Acura Stage. (Last year we had to leave Stevie Wonder and Santana b/c the boys were rotten.) Who says you can’t go home? The muscular, still fabulous-haired JBJ from Jersey rocked the Fest to the rail with most of his biggest hits and a monster version of “Shout”. I loved it; WG put up with it, and Wizard didn’t complain. Excellent — I’m going to iTunes to download a Best of Bon Jovi album right now! We had another great dinner that night at One in the Riverbend. One’s heirloom tomato and mozzarella salad was so incredibly fresh and unbelievably good that I had two. Yes, it was that delicious. Dessert that night was fresh Louisiana strawberry ice at Angelo Brocato, whose Mid-City neighborhood looks livelier and safer every year.

The final day of JazzFest was Sunday, May 4, 2009. Despite cloudy skies and a forecast of rain, we began our day with fresh croissants and coffee from the most marvelous little bakery, O’Delice. Run by a Vietnamese woman, O’Delice features exquisite cakes and pastries by the basketful. We stop there every year, and you should, too, the next time you’re in New Orleans. Fueled with chocolate, butter, and caffeine we packed up for the last  day of the Fest. Wizard watched the morning weather report and warned us to expect rain, so we packed the purple ponchos in the backpack and headed to the Fairgrounds. [Fairgrounds = Louisiana Fairgrounds racetrack, site of JazzFest, and actually owned by Churchill Downs of Kentucky Derby fame.] It was Sunday morning, so we went to “church” a/k/a the Gospel Tent for a few minutes. Then it was on to Jon Cleary and the Absolute Monster Band. Cleary played with Bonnie Raitt a couple days earlier and merited a second listen. We killed some time in the Jazz Tent, listening to Ellis Marsalis, the patriarch of the eponymous family. Wizard could finally see the source of that family’s talent. Afterwards, WG insisted on hearing Neil Young, so we did. Or rather, WG grooved through it, and the rest of us barely tolerated it. I said it on Facebook, and I’ll say it here:  Neil Young sucks.

We intended to stay at the Acura Stage to listen to The Neville Brothers close out the weekend, but the skies were threatening. WG and WT found a small tent set up on the steps of the grandstand, and we staked out our claim with our camp chairs. WT tipped us off to the storm by saying he was cold. No sooner did we pull out our ponchos than the clouds burst. A torrential downpour drove a small horde under our tent, but we were well-positioned out of the rain. When the shower passed, hundreds of people fled the Fairgrounds. Too bad for them because we had excellent seats for The Radiators closing set at the Gentilly Stage. A little soggy and replete with a weekend full of music and food, we left the Fest and ended our trip in raw fish reverie at Sushi Brothers.

All in all, it was a great trip! The boys behaved beautifully the whole time and made us want to travel with them more. We told them so and look forward to our next adventure: Ithaca, New York in June 2009 for my 25th college reunion. Go Big Red!

That’s What Friends Are For

Our very favorite aunt, Aunt Mary, is dying. In her lucid moments, she is as sharp and kind as she ever was. In her worst moments, she lolls and is incoherent. At 86, Aunt Mary has lived a long life filled with one great love — her late husband, Uncle Ozzie (dad’s brother — two great children, three doting granddaughters, one great-grandchild on the way, and a gaggle of lifelong friends. Literally … lifelong friends.

Aunt Mary’s gaggle consists of 4-5 women who have been friends since they were little girls back in the coal-hearted steel towns of Southwestern Pennsylvania. Aunt Mary is 86 years old, and she has been friends with these women, their husbands, and their families for more than 80 years. The “new girl” has been friends with them for only 65 years. Pfft! The gaggle has supported each other through births of children and grandchildren, deaths of husbands, and illness. Now, however, I think Aunt Mary is the first of the gaggle to be nearing her end. It’s sad to see, but I am grateful that these women are there to visit and support her on her last journey. My mother and Aunt Mary have been sisters-in-law and friends for 60 years. I think my mother is having the hardest time with Aunt Mary’s illness because Aunt Mary represents the last living tie to my father and his family.

I should also note that MIL has been good friends with Aunt Mary for the 17 years WineGuy and I have been together. (I only wish MIL and my mother would get along half as well, but that’s another story.) MIL has been visiting Aunt Mary in the hospital, in rehab, and at hospice diligently over the last several months. MIL would like to be in the gaggle, but she just can’t.

Why all the morbid talk? It’s a powerful response to an article that appeared in The New York Times Science Times section (4/21/09). Author Tara Parker-Pope writes in “What Are Friends For? A Longer Life”:

In the quest for better health, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful weapon that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery slow aging and prolong life:  their friends.

Researchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health. … Harvard researchers reported that strong social ties could promote brain health as we age.

Ms. Parker-Pope went on to discuss a new book by Jeffrey Zaslow that chronicles the lifetime relationships of a circle of friends from Ames, Iowa. That circle, similar to Aunt Mary’s gaggle, has supported each other through the expansion of their families and the contraction of their worlds, especially by cancer. The thesis of the book was that “just having friends was protective.” Ms. Parker-Pope went on to say that “the benefits of friendship go well beyond physical assistance; indeed, proximity does not seem to be a factor.” According to Karen Roberto, director of Virginia Tech’s Center for Gerontology, “Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message of [the various scientific studies cited] is that friends make your life better.”

My own gaggle is smaller and comprised of lifelong friends and those of a more recent vintage. I have already tested some of their mettle through two high-risk pregnancies, a couple of miscarriages, WineGuy’ sudden illness a few years ago, and my father’s death. I made it through with their support. I hope our friendships will stand the test of time as well.

Aunt Mary has been a central figure in my life. She is the reason I have a husband and children. She was culinary guide and inspiration to a young cook. She was a voice of reason between warring parents and in-laws. She always finds something nice to say. She is a lady through and through. Her failing health pains me beyond words. Nevertheless, I am grateful for her gaggle of friends who stand and will stand, although not as tall, with her daily.

Shameful

Blogging once a month? Is this what I had in mind when I started “The Testosterone Zone”? Certainly not.

Looking over my writing frequency this year, I am ashamed to see how little I’ve written. I guess I got stuck. I was bored with my quotidian rants about Wizard and his nonsense. Bored with my own nonsense. [insert snarky attitude] Bored with everyone else’s nonsense, which was clearly not as important as my own. Lately, however, several topics are niggling my brain, begging to be written.

[go to the next post]

I Hate Taxes

I always leave them for the last minute, that’s why. I filed an extension for the federal taxes, but I needed to file a CALIFORNIA tax return for my Jeopardy winnings which were paid in 2008. That was a colossal hemorrhoid, considering The Golden State owes me a refund. In the meantime, I wanted you to commiserate with Robert Cray’s “1040 Blues,” but I couldn’t get the file to upload.
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Freezer Burn

Last night, Wild Thing asked to have some Starbucks ice cream. He retrieved the container from the big freezer in the garage and exclaimed, “It’s slush!” Slush turned out to be soup, as in lukewarm, melted, chocolate-caramel-coffee slop. WineGuy raced out to the garage to find water all over the floor in front of the upright freezer and the entire box completely defrosted.

What started out as an annoying (but otherwise sedate) evening featuring a food fight and general  misbehavior from WT and Wizard devolved into a frenzy of activity. WG and I worked in tandem to unload the contents of the big freezer into a smaller one. The boys gathered all the batteries, which had been stored in the freezer, and tossed them all into a green bag in the garage. Wizard “kindly” brought the hose around to the garage but intended to drag it through the house, leaving all the doors open for the cats to escape again. Thank G-d, WG stopped that charade. I then wrestled the hose and 2 different outside spigots before I got one to work. I hosed out the garage and left it open to dry last night. I’m sure there are critters lurking in there right now. Ew.

Back inside, I sat down at the computer to look at upright freezers online, trying to see if I could narrow today’s shopping trip to one stop — Costco, BestBuy or Lowe’s. WG got pissed because he couldn’t sit here in the office, so I gave up and watched “American Idol,” which I recorded. This morning, I went to Best Buy and Lowe’s. Lowe’s gave me the better deal on an in-stock item, so my new freezer should be here tomorrow afternoon. Kudos to the Operations Manager at the local Lowe’s for meeting BB’s price on a similar (but not equivalent) model in order to make the sale!

TANGENT:

Idle thoughts about last night’s “Idol”:

• I hate Megan Joy’s tattoo. Her dress and her dancing looked awful. Idol producers should have taken girlfriend to an ENT for a bolus of cortisone to help her voice.
• Adam Lambert’s version of “Ring of Fire” was wrong on so many levels.
• Anoop Desai’s version of “Always On My Mind” was transcendent … a nod to Willie without the mimicry. This is what “Ring of Fire” should have been.
• Danny Gokey fell apart. Why?
• The judges finally realized the similarities between Matt Giraud and Michael Bublé.