Fade Out

In a recent comment, Heidi Lou asked how Aunt Mary was. Fortunately, I made time to visit Aunt Mary last weekend. Overall, I was pleased with what I saw.

For the last seven months, Aunt Mary has been in and out of hospitals, nursing homes, rehabilitation centers and Hospice. She fell in October 2008 and developed a bad bacterial infection that they could not adequately control. She developed other complications and reactions to medications and was in bad shape for the longest time. Her children, my cousins, Sportsfan and Lee, traveled many weekends from Orlando and DC, respectively, to look after their mother. They’ve done a yeoman’s job. Although they really wanted to move Aunt Mary to a nursing home near Sportsfan in Orlando, they ultimately decided to bring their mother back to her condo with round-the-clock care from an aide and a Hospice nurse.

Let me tell you, those caregivers are amazing. I walked into the condo yesterday and found it spotlessly clean. Everywhere. The place did not smell of “old people,” or decay or food or illness. Aunt Mary was lying in a hospital bed that Lee set up in the living room. There was a small television nearby, tuned to Aunt Mary’s favorite channel, CNN. The curtains and windows were open on the sunporch, letting in some soft sunlight and fresh air. Aunt Mary was dressed in a clean hospital gown and a clean turban. The sheets were all clean and tidy, just like she would have kept them herself. The aide had just fed Aunt Mary her lunch, and everything was cleaned up nicely.

Physically, Aunt Mary is a shell of her former self. She lies in bed all day long now and can do nothing for herself. She keeps her eyes closed and is barely responsive. When I was there, I prattled on for about 20-30 minutes about my family. I made a special point of telling her about Wild Thing’s 10th birthday last week. You see, Wild Thing was named for Uncle Ozzie, Aunt Mary’s late husband, my dad’s brother. WT has a special place in Aunt Mary’s heart. She was able to answer “yes/no” questions and seemed to know what was going on. She knew that two of my brothers visited her recently and that my SIL, VJ, had been there, too. I had to call Aunt Mary’s name a couple of times to get her attention, but she answered me clearly. After a while, I was tired of talking, and I could see she needed to rest.

The aide told me about a nutritious soup she made  –  a delicious recipe from her Jamaican grandmother — and about another soup she planned to make this week. The aide prepared these thick soups from scratch so they would be easier for Aunt Mary to eat. She also took great care in preparing Aunt Mary’s oatmeal with a little applesauce and cinnamon. I was so impressed with this woman’s kindness and initiative, and I told her so. I thought, as a result of improved nutrition, my aunt looked better this week than when I last saw her six months ago. She was less responsive, but her color was good. I reported back to my cousins that the aide and the Hospice nurse were taking excellent care of their mother. They made the right decision to move Aunt Mary back home.

Aunt Mary is trying desperately to hang on until her first great-grandchild is born this July. She’s a tough woman, and she just might make it. Realistically, though, it would be easier for her children and grandchildren if she didn’t hang on so long. No one, absolutely no one, wishes for her demise, but we all will be ready when Aunt Mary’s screen fades to black.