Relatively Trained

NaBloPoMo tells me that February’s theme is “relative”. Not knowing whether the blogging site means “comparative,” “kinsman,” or something Einsteinian — and thus beyond my comprehension — I’m going with Door #1 today.

As my blog title indicates, I live in a house full of males. They include two male Siamese cats, Alpha and Fat; they’re litter mates and brothers. Alpha, obviously, is the alpha male and is quite clearly Wizard’s cat. Alpha hardly
pays attention to anyone else, unless he wants something. Fat is the pudgy younger brother, purrs like a lawnmower, and is fondly attached to me and WineGuy.

While I would occasionally see Fat first thing in the morning, Alpha was never around, presumedly ensconced in Wizard’s room. Lately, however, he two cats stand outside my door and howl until I let them in. They saunter into my bathroom and sit by the bathtub. This morning, Alpha was sitting on the ledge of the spa tub staring at me. His icy glare indicated his utter displeasure. I imagined this conversation:

Me: Hi, Alpha! What do you want?
Alpha: I’m sitting here waiting for the water. Where is the water? I require fresh water, and it is not here. It was here before.
Me: Talk to me. [You are a Siamese after all.] Do you want me to turn on he water?
Alpha: Duh! What did I just say? Do I have to spell it out?

As I turned the faucet to a trickle, I thought “Great, another spoiled child in my house. Who is responsible for this?”

Who, indeed: The one who trained them … relatively.

Beginning To See The Light

Just a quick post for consistency’s sake. Wizard’s behavior has been infinitesimally better. WineGuy is being wiser about keeping his distance from Wizard when Wiz is out of control. Wild Thing and Moose seem to be on an even keel, and I feel less pressure. My Zone friends, and especially my bestie, MB Walker, are really looking out for me.

Wizard’s grades are marginally better than last year, although not high enough for him to play lacrosse again this spring. He, personally, wants to have all As now and appears to be working harder. We just learned his PSAT scores from last fall. For him, they were mediocre. He wants to do better on the SATs, so he’s already contacted Sprite to coach him for that.

Small progress. Baby steps. I’m happy to leave January behind. My Vietnamese pedicurist assures me that this Year of the Dragon will be most auspicious for me, a [Year of the] Tiger mama. I’ll take it! Now to find out what the February theme for NaBloPoMo is.

The End of the Beginning

As if life did not suck enough, I just got off the phone with the big boss of Belle’s realty company. He informed me that, as much as they liked my writing, they are going to stick with the copywriter they’ve been using for the last 20 years. Never mind the complaints I heard about her, she’s experienced; she can write about estates from Greenwich to the Gables; she’s the bomb. I’m not.

Fired from yet another job. That makes at least four in the course of my short-lived careers.

Begin Working

Just in case you’re new to The Zone, I am a lawyer. I have not actively practiced law in many years. I blame it on my children, especially Wizard, but that’s a tale for another day. Since my youngest child is now 9, lots of people have been asking me “Alto2, when are you going back to work?” I typically answer with a grunt. I despised job-hunting when I was a “real” lawyer, mostly because I never had much luck. Financially, I don’t need to work. Intellectually, I do.

Several weeks ago, Belle sprung an idea on me:  writing precise, descriptive copy for real estate advertising — expensive real estate … verrry expensive real estate. I was interested, but she had to check with the big bosses at her company. This morning, I interviewed with the big boss-lady, who offered me the job! Belle’s local agency receives 2-3 listings per week, and I am now her wordsmith. I’ll get paid per piece, and I will have access to the lavish estates and condominiums Belle sells regularly. How cool is that?

I am excited and a little bit nervous. Wish me luck!