That’s What Friends Are For

Our very favorite aunt, Aunt Mary, is dying. In her lucid moments, she is as sharp and kind as she ever was. In her worst moments, she lolls and is incoherent. At 86, Aunt Mary has lived a long life filled with one great love — her late husband, Uncle Ozzie (dad’s brother — two great children, three doting granddaughters, one great-grandchild on the way, and a gaggle of lifelong friends. Literally … lifelong friends.

Aunt Mary’s gaggle consists of 4-5 women who have been friends since they were little girls back in the coal-hearted steel towns of Southwestern Pennsylvania. Aunt Mary is 86 years old, and she has been friends with these women, their husbands, and their families for more than 80 years. The “new girl” has been friends with them for only 65 years. Pfft! The gaggle has supported each other through births of children and grandchildren, deaths of husbands, and illness. Now, however, I think Aunt Mary is the first of the gaggle to be nearing her end. It’s sad to see, but I am grateful that these women are there to visit and support her on her last journey. My mother and Aunt Mary have been sisters-in-law and friends for 60 years. I think my mother is having the hardest time with Aunt Mary’s illness because Aunt Mary represents the last living tie to my father and his family.

I should also note that MIL has been good friends with Aunt Mary for the 17 years WineGuy and I have been together. (I only wish MIL and my mother would get along half as well, but that’s another story.) MIL has been visiting Aunt Mary in the hospital, in rehab, and at hospice diligently over the last several months. MIL would like to be in the gaggle, but she just can’t.

Why all the morbid talk? It’s a powerful response to an article that appeared in The New York Times Science Times section (4/21/09). Author Tara Parker-Pope writes in “What Are Friends For? A Longer Life”:

In the quest for better health, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful weapon that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery slow aging and prolong life:  their friends.

Researchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health. … Harvard researchers reported that strong social ties could promote brain health as we age.

Ms. Parker-Pope went on to discuss a new book by Jeffrey Zaslow that chronicles the lifetime relationships of a circle of friends from Ames, Iowa. That circle, similar to Aunt Mary’s gaggle, has supported each other through the expansion of their families and the contraction of their worlds, especially by cancer. The thesis of the book was that “just having friends was protective.” Ms. Parker-Pope went on to say that “the benefits of friendship go well beyond physical assistance; indeed, proximity does not seem to be a factor.” According to Karen Roberto, director of Virginia Tech’s Center for Gerontology, “Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message of [the various scientific studies cited] is that friends make your life better.”

My own gaggle is smaller and comprised of lifelong friends and those of a more recent vintage. I have already tested some of their mettle through two high-risk pregnancies, a couple of miscarriages, WineGuy’ sudden illness a few years ago, and my father’s death. I made it through with their support. I hope our friendships will stand the test of time as well.

Aunt Mary has been a central figure in my life. She is the reason I have a husband and children. She was culinary guide and inspiration to a young cook. She was a voice of reason between warring parents and in-laws. She always finds something nice to say. She is a lady through and through. Her failing health pains me beyond words. Nevertheless, I am grateful for her gaggle of friends who stand and will stand, although not as tall, with her daily.

Keep The Dream Alive

It’s not about race.

It is about race.

It’s not about experience.

It is about experience.

It’s not about partisanship.

It is about partisanship.

It’s not about the old guard.

It might about a new world order.

For those of us who suffered through the larceny of 2000 and the buffoonery of the last eight years, today is about hope . . . and change . . . and vision . . . and intelligence.

For those of us who have identified with the minority, we now stand up to be counted. We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. They paved the way so we could succeed.

Congratulations, Mr. Obama, Mr. President.

Political Tectonics

Pre-dawn, before the alarm. A frisson of excitement in the air. The electricity is palpable. Election Day 2008. We stand on the precipice of history.

In my young life, I have voted in only six presidential elections thus far. Most of them were mundane. One was objectively historical (2000), yet I was removed from the fray –  living in Pennsylvania while the drama played out in Florida. This year is different.

Now the stage is set across the nation.  From Pennsylvania’s anthracite-laden birthplace of freedom to the teeming shores and swamps of Florida. From the fertile valleys of Virginia to the sere, red rocks of Nevada. From steely, granite New Hampshire to Missouri’s lush heartland. From the teetering economy of post-industrial Ohio to the Rockies and deserts of Colorado and New Mexico. Americans make history when we vote this year.

Whether your blood runs blue or red or an undecided purple, get out there and vote. Make a decision and  write a new chapter for the United States. My only wish is that we have a clear winner this evening. I want to wake up tomorrow and feel the paradigm shift.

Amen, Sister

You must listen to Donna Brazile. Even if you wholly disagree with her politics, acknowledge that every election should be about issues and character, not about skin color.

Better resolution is here.

Thank you, Paige, for the link.

Satire or Not?

The cover of this week’s New Yorker magazine features artist Barry Blitt’s cartoon of Barack Obama dressed in Muslim garb. Michelle Obama, here the spitting image of Angela Davis, is portrayed as a terrorist in fatigues with a semi-automatic weapon and combat boots. They appear to be standing in the Oval Office, on whose wall hangs a portrait of Osama bin Laden just above an American flag burning in the fireplace.

The question is: Is this cartoon satire or is it offensive? Both the Obama and the McCain campaigns spoke out against the cover:

“The New Yorker may think, as one of their staff explained to us, that their cover is a satirical lampoon of the caricature Senator Obama’s right-wing critics have tried to create. But most readers will see it as tasteless and offensive. And we agree.”

~ Obama spokesman Bill Burton

McCain’s campaign also issued a statement saying the cartoon is “tasteless and offensive.”

The magazine issued a statement that the cover is meant to highlight ignorant rumors circulating about the Obamas. The magazine is confident its readers will get the joke. Personally, I get the joke, but I think it’s offensive and racist. The Washington Post called the cover “incendiary,” and I agree with them (for once).

What do you think of the cover? Is it:

1. wicked satire about hot-button topics this election year?
2. incendiary and racist?
3. in poor taste?
4. merely designed to increase magazine sales?

All of the above? None of the above? More questions than answers from The Zone today, friends.

The Diva and The Dress

Opera star, Deborah Voigt, lost a contract with The Royal Opera House seven years ago because of her weight. Covent Garden was staging an updated version of Richard Strauss’s “Ariadne Auf Naxos” that required Ms. Voigt to fit into a little black dress. Voigt’s summary dismissal set the music world on fire. Opera had never seen such blatant weight discrimination before.

Apparently, the canceled contract was a wake-up call to Ms. Voigt. She underwent gastric bypass surgery in 2004 and subsequently lost over 100 pounds.

Deborah Voigt in 2004:

Deborah Voigt in 2008:

Covent Garden just called. They want her back. To play Ariadne. In that little black dress. So, she and her publicist had a little fun:

The question remains whether the surgery and weight loss have affected her voice.

Power to the People

In the wake of widespread power outages here in Florida yesterday, due to FPL’s incompetence malfeasance nonfeasance misfeasance, this blog post has gotten a lot of traffic.

Just in case you hadn’t heard, FPL (the local electric monopoly company), had a switch blow at a suburban Miami sub-station yesterday. (Ironically, that sub-station is across the street from FPL’s Miami headquarters.) Almost simultaneously, a voltage regulator at another facility caught fire. The local nuclear plant, Turkey Point, sensed the disruption in the power supply and shut down, triggering a ripple-effect of rolling blackouts from Miami across the state. FPL called these failures “minor mishaps” and said its system is designed to compensate for one “mishap” at a time, but not more than one. Read the rest of the story here.

Mr. Stupidvisor must have been asleep at the switch.