Hollow

I’m feeling a bit empty right now. With the loss of my father and all the hubbub surrounding my Jeopardy! appearance, I did not know whether I was coming or going last week. I ended up driving back over to the East Coast of Florida this past Saturday to be with my mother on her birthday. I had to be strong so she could let go a bit. That’s okay, but my reserves are running a bit low.

I look around The Zone and see all the things to which I need to pay attention. I’ve let so much slip by the wayside in the last 2 weeks. The school’s book fair is this week. In the past, I’ve been an active volunteer. Now, my heart isn’t in it. I’ll go pitch in, like in years past, but I don’t want to stay all day every day this week.  Part of the book fair issue is that WineGuy forbade the boys from getting any books at this year’s book fair because they have mistreated all the books they own. He also informed me that I am not to buy any books for the boys. He’s right, but it’s so disappointing to someone who loves books and whose children allegedly do, too.

Routine would serve me best right now. I’m hardly interested.

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6 thoughts on “Hollow

  1. I agree with Ramblingmom. Take it from one who has been walking through her own fire — give yourself time. As much time as you think you need. And then double that amount of time.

    I don’t know how I missed your move to the new space, but it meant I’ve missed your latest entries — so let me say here that I am very sorry for your loss.

    Time heals. Sometimes it’s the only thing that does.

  2. While it’s wonderful that Jeopardy gave you something to celebrate, the grieving process is a long one. Take the time you need and don’t let anyone rush you. So often, as caregivers, we just don’t allow time to provide the care we need for ourselves. Know that you have many, many people thinking of you during this difficult time.

  3. I am thinking a rountine bagel stop a morning or two this week would help . . . let me know if you are up to it.

    Calvin

  4. I’m sorry you’re feeling down, Alto2. It would probably be abnormal for you to feel otherwise right now, under the circumstances.

    I just got home from Bloomsburg a few hours ago. Before I even unloaded my car or turned on my computer, I headed immediately to my Tivo to watch the 9/18 episode of Jeopardy. I am totally in awe of your poise and confidence and quick thinking. But I’m sure tons of other peope have told you the same thing.

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