The “William Tell” Mom Song

If you haven’t seen or heard this yet on YouTube, sit down and spend some time with comedian, Anita Renfroe.

She wrote original words to Puccini’s “William Tell Overture” and timed everything just perfectly. Here are the lyrics:

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here’s your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast. The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don’t play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don’t forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don’t sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don’t get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I’ll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,
“I don’t care who started it!
You’re grounded until you’re 36”
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before
That you’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom
Don’t forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I’m the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!

My favorite part is “Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?” Makes me laugh out loud every time.

Why did I think of this tonight? I just came back from a quiet visit with my mother, whom I helped with a few things, hung out with her friends, and kept her company for a day or so. I finally get back in my own house this evening, and it stinks. I don’t mean “it sucks,” but it does. I mean it literally smells. As soon as I walk in the door, I’ bellowing to Wild Thing to feed the cats and clean the litter box; to Wizard to take his clothes out of the playroom closet; and to Moose to pick up the two dozen puzzle pieces he left scattered across the playroom floor. Then I go into the kitchen where Wizard has allegedly made his lunch for tomorrow. I find the lunchbox on the counter. It’s filled with two apples, one freezer pack, and one container with two pieces of London Broil that were definitely “past their prime”. The lazy oaf didn’t even smell the meat when he took it out of the refrigerator. “It looked fine to me,” Wizard whined. I queried, “Since when do you eat things that look like they belong in the science lab?” What a bum.

Then I corralled Wild Thing and Moose into the shower because they stunk. WT had some sort of grease all over his leg. I made him sit and scrub it off in the shower for about 10 minutes. He got most of it off, although his leg was nearly raw. :-0 I sent him and Moose upstairs naked, with instructions to put on pajamas and go to bed. For once they listened. It was 8:00 p.m. when I sat down to read the morning papers. WineGuy chose that exact moment to discuss the charge bill with me. At least he brought me the two receipts about which he had questions.

Tomorrow they all go back to school and work. Wizard and WT inform me they’ve had sore throats and sore tongues all weekend. We are definitely going to the pediatrician tomorrow after school. I fear the specter of strep throat is rearing its ugly tonsils.

In medias politic: Day 4, NaBloPoMo 2006

4 thoughts on “The “William Tell” Mom Song

  1. I was thinking what Ramblingmom said.

    I feel the same way when we return home from a trip. Having our 22-year-old son back at home is not much different from what you’re dealing with. The house always stinks with a combination of guy-smell, uncleaned litter boxes, unwashed dishes, and rotting food.

    Thanks for sharing the lyrics to that song. I’ve never heard of it.

  2. I have actually asked my children if they lived in a barn. Adventure Guy managed to keep a straight face at the time but later said, “You know, you’ve played the barn card now. There’s really no going back from here.” I’ll just add that to the list of things I swore I’d never say to my own kids. 🙂

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