Home Work

I am home today tending to the kitchen and the laundry. Already this morning I have

  • baked two batches of lemon bars to take to our synagogue’s Eat & Learn Shabbat this evening
  • made and baked a Pumpkin Plum Tart, to test for Thanksgiving
  • called the plumber to come on Monday morning.

I still have to

  • sort and start my laundry*
  • iron a bunch of stuff
  • make turkey stock for turkey gravy
  • unpack suitcases from 2-4 weeks ago
  • clean up my dresser and my desk

Can you tell I’ve been letting things linger? My oldest brother, The Egg, described this last month as “cloudy,” and he was right. Since my father’s death, I haven’t been able to focus or accomplish much. I was basically functioning at a minimal level. Thanksgiving will be here next week, and I want things to be tidy and in order.

My biggest dilemma at the moment is how to transport my mother over here. I expected that (a) she would drive herself; or (b) I would meet her halfway and caravan back here; or (c) I would go pick her up, when my schedule permitted. None of those options were good enough for her. She claims she’s not feeling strong enough to drive herself – frankly, I think my brothers put the kibosh on that, damn them. She doesn’t want to meet halfway because she still doesn’t think she can drive an hour without getting exhausted. She will not change her personal appointments so that I can go pick her up on Tuesday. She will only make herself available to leave on Wednesday. However, my in-laws and my BIL offered to drive her over here. Problems there include my in-laws not deciding when they’re driving over here; they just arrived back in Florida yesterday. I don’t know when my BIL is coming either, or with how many children. A friend from school suggested I hire a car to pick her up and bring her here; it would cost more than a few bucks, but it would make my life so much easier. When I suggested that option to my mother, she shot that down, too, saying she didn’t want me to spend the money. At that point, I yelled at her. It was horrible, but I needed her to quit being so self-centered and start cooperating with me. Now I know why WineGuy hates it when I bait him and then box him into a corner. I learned from the master. Ugh.

In the mean time, go check out a new recipe I’ve posted over on The Need To Feed. Also, if you want a recipe for anything I’ve listed on my Thanksgiving menu, let me know.

Last year, this was me zi070914.gif

*Yesterday, I got smart and called my former housekeeper, Markie, to come help me with laundry. She actually showed up today and started my mountain of wash and ironing without comment. I was worried she wouldn’t show. Why? Because after working for me for nearly 4 years, she blew me off. Didn’t show up for work for weeks. Didn’t return calls. Wasn’t at home when I drove all the way out to her house. When I finally reached her, nearly 2 months later, I cornered her into returning my keys. It sounds like she had a meltdown (breakdown?) and gave up all her cleaning work. In the intervening years, she has not hesitated to call me for legal help. Well, now I need the help, and I figure she owes me. Since my regular housekeeper, Yudi, can only get the sheets and towels done while she’s here, I’ve been contemplating hiring someone to temporarily help with the laundry forever. I’ve extended that offer to Markie; she has to think about it.

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6 thoughts on “Home Work

  1. Since my father’s death, I haven’t been able to focus or accomplish much. I was basically functioning at a minimal level. Bach’s Rescue Remedy — it’s a wonderful thing. IDEA — if (a) (b) and (c) won’t work can you ….

    Have one of the brother’s drive her 1/2 way (since they seem “so concerned” about her driving). You really don’t need to drive a 4 hour round trip while you’re trying to get dinner on the table.

    Call In-laws and/or Brother-in-law and say “HEY when you coming? Mom needs a ride and I need to see if she can carpool with you or if I need to figure something else out.

    Call mom back and say “THESE are the options” which one are you taking. If her changing her Wednesday appointment is not an option and you driving out to pick her up on Wednesday is not an option then she either gets to carpool with the in-laws OR get a hired car. As far as I know it’s your money and she doesn’t decide how you get to spend it. She’s not supporting you?? Is she? When was the last time you asked her for a loan? When you were like 18 or something? You can graciously allow her or your brothers to split the cost of the transport.

  2. My brothers are meddlers, not helpers, in this instance. The Egg lives in Israel. DocBro lives in New Jersey, and Taxman lives in DC. None are coming here for Thanksgiving b/c they can’t be bothered. They just interfered. My mother tries to run everyone else’s life while demanding help with her own. It’s toxic. I think I’m just going to call a car service.

  3. My mom used to be the same way …. not wanting me to spend my money on her for whatever…. but the alternative was that I’d have to jump through hoops to accomplish whatever needed to be done. Finally, I just told her, “Hey, my TIME is worth something to me, you know, and it’s worth it to me to spend this money to save my time.”

    How do you make turkey stock for turkey gravy? Doesn’t that involve cooking a turkey? And doesn’t the turkey usually get cooked on Thanksgiving Day?

    Sorry, but I’m a cooking retard. I do usually cook a turkey for Thanksgiving, but I cheat with stuff like gravy out of a jar, so I don’t know anything about turkey stock. Actually, I do like making turkey noodle soup with the carcass after Thanksgiving. That’s about the only thing I enjoy cooking.

  4. Go with the hired driver!

    I had the same cooking retard question about the turkey stock.

    Tell your brothers they are not allowed to point out problems unless they intend to contribute to the solutions!

  5. Hiring a car sounds like the sanest idea. The cost would be worth it for your peace of mind.

    I was wondering about doing the turkey stock ahead of time, too.

    I don’t think I would have crossed out “forever” when it comes to laundry. I have mountains of it here that I’ve been trying to make a dent in today. I don’t know what happened over the past few weeks, but it seems like nothing was really getting done. I finally snapped out of it yesterday.

  6. Pingback: Let Them Eat Pie! « Somewhere In The Suburbs

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