Ho, Ho, Go

One of the good things about being Jewish is that we tend to finish with our holiday festivities before the Christmas craziness fully blossoms. That held true this year. With that said, I still find myself fending off Christmas fêtes, endless sets of Christmas music playing on the radio – enough! I just sang 6 concerts’ worth – and the endless teacher appreciation gifts, which of course they deserve. The Fat Man arrives one week from today, and I would like these annoying things to go away right now:

  •  all of the radio stations which have gone to “all Christmas music, all the time, until Christmas”. I would really like to hear other music.
  • the gaudy, oversized wreaths which “magically” appeared on the gates to my neighborhood, courtesy of the neighbor who lives closest to them, and without seeking the HOA’s approval or even permission. Maybe next year, I’ll borrow Chabad’s giant menorah and strap it to the gates.
  • the lines in the post office, which are terribly annoying to this terrible aunt, who failed to mail certain Chanukah gifts on time. Ahem.
  • the endless gift baskets of crap given by various patients and businesses to WineGuy. How many little boxes of butter cookies and biscotti does one family need? Please, just bake him a plate of cookies and be done with it.
  • the endless empty baskets and containers in which the crap is packed.  How many wicker baskets, metal or leather magazine holders does one family need?
  • the astounded and offended looks on the people who ask me, “Are you ready for Christmas?” when I tell them, “No, it’s not my holiday.” Maybe it’s easier to play along, but I’d rather assert my independence.
  • the incessantly ringing  bells in every shopping venue around town. I realize they’re collecting for charity, but there is enough noise pollution at this time of year. Shut up!

OK, I’ll move my Scrooge-y behind off my podium now. Bah, humbug.


6 thoughts on “Ho, Ho, Go

  1. I’d think the problem wouldn’t be so much the “all Christmas music all the time” stations (granted, there’s only like 2 — maybe three in this marked, and one of those is a Christian station) but the stations that hop madly back and forth. After all if there’s a few stations that are predictable, you can successfully IGNORE those stations.

    As for the gifts, can you find a place that would appreciate them? Perhaps a homeless shelter or something? OR can Wine Guy offer them to the office staff to give to THEIR friends and relatives? (I always find the need for something “ready to give” at this time of year – there’s always just “one more thing” I’ve managed to forget).

    You’ve had a crappy year — hope next year is better.

  2. Do they make giant inflatable menorahs for your front yard, like the giant Santas and snowpersons that you sometimes see? (someone I know had a giant Grinch — cool!)

    Bet the HOA would dig that! 😛

    Oh, and as for the people who get offended that you don’t do Christmas, if you really want to make their heads explode, tell them that Christmas is really a pagan holiday that was co-opted by Christians, that celebrating it used to be prohibited by many Protestant churches, and that any responsible biblical scholar knows that Jesus was not born on Dec. 25th. 😛

  3. Virgomusic – yes, they DO have those blow up menorahs!! There is one in a backyard right across the street from me and I love it!

    Alto2 – I love your response when people ask you if you are ready. Shoot, I might use it. I was in the bank today and the same damn teller who asked me *last* week if I was ready asked me again today. Argh!

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