Open Letter to Car Manufacturers

Dear Automobile Manufacturer:

I need a new car. I am married to a very tall man and have three very tall children. I hate my minivan and would strongly prefer to have a hybrid SUV or a crossover vehicle. I am willing to consider any maker other than Chrysler (which really deserves to go under). Here are my requirements:

  1. Cost less than $50,000.00
  2. Get more than 20 mpg (city); 30 mpg would make WineGuy ecstatic.
  3. Seat 7, 8 preferably
  4. Have a third-row seat with enough legroom for a small adult or a large child
  5. Have a third-row seat that’s tall enough for a small adult or a large child. NOTE: 10-12″ depth from the seat surface to the floor is only big enough for toddlers, who can’t sit back there by themselves anyway.
  6. Use regular unleaded gas
  7. Have power driver and passenger seats, which must be leather
  8. Have middle seats that slide forward to allow access to the third row
  9. Have NO sunroof! They force tall people to smash themselves in the front seat.
  10. Have a great reliability record because I’ve spent $5000 on transmission and a/c repairs since my “Crapler” minivan went out of warranty
  11. Score high in IIHS crash-testing
  12. Have every kind of airbag imaginable
  13. Satellite and HD radio would be nice.

I can’t tell you how many vehicles I have looked at to replace my car. I came close this week with a GMC Yukon Hybrid. However the back seat, although full-sized, was a mere six inches off the floor. It’s a complete waste.

Please email your recommended list of vehicles to The Testosterone Zone.




4 thoughts on “Open Letter to Car Manufacturers

  1. I don’t know if it meets all your requirements, and I’m not sure if your statement about anything but Chrysler included GMC, but I’d take a look at the GMC Acadia.

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