Teen Rules of Possession

Remember when our kids were toddlers? Someone passed around a funny list of the Toddler’s Rules of Possession:

1. If I like it, it’s mine.

2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.

5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.

6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically
becomes mine.

10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.

You know what? We need to come up with some Teenager Rules of Possession. Here’s a start:Zits

  1. If I like it, I will badger you endlessly until you make it  mine.
  2. If it’s in my hand, I’m probably eating it.
  3. If I can take it from you,  you will never see it again. Ever. In one piece.
  4. If I had it a little while ago, I have absolutely no idea where it is now.
  5. If it’s mine, I will never share it with you. Ever.
  6. If I’m doing something, it’s probably illegal, immoral, or fattening. Or just plain lazy.
  7. If it looks like it’s mine, of course it’s mine. Duh!
  8. If I saw it first, you should buy it for me first because . . . see rule 1.
  9. If you are using something and put it down, I will take it away and use it to torture the crap out of you or my siblings.
  10. If it’s broken, it wasn’t my fault. Ever.

What rules would you like to add to the list?

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