Family Dynamics

Just some quick observations about my family. My brothers are not currently speaking with me over the snafu of Wizard’s Bar Mitzvah and my refusal to attend the 80th birthday party they planned for my mother … without my knowledge or participation. My maternal first cousins genuinely love my mother and were happy to attend that party in DC last month.

These same cousins, for as much as they fought with their mother (my aunt) over the years, banded together a year ago to plan a 50th wedding anniversary party for their parents. All five kids have a part in the planning. I thought that was wonderful, and it made me jealous. I like that aunt and uncle very much; they’ve been good to me over the years. In fact, there were times I got along better with my aunt (mother’s sister) than my own mother. My cousins feel the same way about my mom. I guess that’s OK.

What got me thinking about all this was a phone call from one such first cousin, Cousin T, this evening. He notified me 6 weeks ago that he was coming down here for a business meeting. I had offered to pick him up at the airport, but he declined. I had hoped WineGuy and I could take the kids up to the resort one evening to met Cousin T for dinner. Cousin T never called, and he left town today. I was feeling like I had pissed off yet another family member by not attending that DC party. Fortunately, that was not the case. Cousin T said he was in meetings from morning until night and hardly had any free time. He did call me tonight from his cell phone on his way home from the airport. He apologized profusely, and I told him not to worry. We had a nice conversation for a few minutes. I hope to see him at a family Bar Mitzvah in March 2010. Maybe I’ll plan to see him and the rest of my cousins at that anniversary party next May.


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