Losing My …

Keys, mind, patience.

Today was a typically busy day in the Testosterone Zone. I took Wild Thing and Moose to school and actually walked Moose into class. The mother of one of his classmates was having surgery today, and she asked me to look in on her daughter. Bell and Calvin convened The Breakfast Club this morning, so we all met at Panera. Afterwards, I went downtown to the salon and had a pedicure before heading back to mid-town to volunteer at the Snooty School. Today was Teacher Treats, a quarterly luncheon which the parents provide to all the faculty and staff. I made a spinach and artichoke casserole last night and served it at school today.

Somewhere in the midst of all that I lost my house-keys. PANIC! I remembered removing my car-key from the ring and stuffing it into my bra because my pants had no pockets. I thought I threw the whole keyring into my purse, which I left in the car. When I finally returned to my car some 2.5 hours later, I could not find the keyring. Anywhere. I retraced my steps through school. I looked in every nook and cranny of my car, moving the seats all around. Twice. Then I started calling everyone I dealt with today. First, the Snooty School:  the receptionist said no one had turned in the keys and that she would page the security people to look around. Then I called the pedicurist; she didn’t have the keys. I called Belle and Calvin to ask if they saw me drop the keys near Panera; they hadn’t. I drove around the two school parking lots I had been in today. No luck. I drove to Panera, looked all around there, and even inquired inside. No keys. Then I drove back downtown to the salon and looked around their parking lot and walkway. No keys. I repeated to Moose and WT, “I am going to find my keys. I am going to find my keys!”  At that point, WT and Moose were tired so we went home.

I got home and put my purse down in the kitchen. I grabbed a flashlight and inspected my car again. Wizard came home from school in the meantime and proceeded to “help”. The one thing he didn’t do was tell me the Snooty School called. Mind you, he heard the cell phone ring and commented on the “weird ringtone, something like bells,” which is my Snooty School ringtone. I ran back in the house and listened to the message from the receptionist:  the security guard just dropped off a “wad of keys” on a leather strap with a brass buckle. Hallelujah! They found my keys! Everyone jumped back in the car, and I raced back down to school to retrieve my keys. No one knew quite where the guard found them, but I was grateful all the same.

We sped back home and quickly chopped up fruit for tonight’s Sabbath dinner at the synagogue and sliced up tomatoes, onions, and cucumbers for tomorrow’s lunch at the synagogue. The boys and I dressed quickly and ran back out the door to get to the synagogue by 6:00 p.m. for dinner. However, Wizard had other plans. He decided to play ball with his brothers instead of get in the car. He chose to bite his nails and sass me repeatedly instead of sitting nicely in the front passenger seat. I warned him twice then stopped the car and kicked him out. Wizard got in the back seat but was combative and disrespectful the whole way. I tried — I really tried — to stay calm and positive, but I lost it. Just once, but I screamed expletives at the top of my lungs. But only once. When I could have ranted for the entire 20-minute ride to the synagogue.

Dinner went well. Services were fine until Moose couldn’t find his book he brought along. We looked all over the synagogue, but we didn’t find it. Why? Because (you guessed it) the hand of Wizard was involved. Wizard got angry at Moose for hitting Wizard with the book. So, Wizard hid it waaaaaaaaaay under a seat. And didn’t tell anyone even though he saw Moose and WT frantically looking for the book. Wizard only spoke up when I asked him if he’d seen the book. The six-foot snothead replied, “I know exactly where the book is,” and slowly grinned like the Cheshire Cat. Aieeeeeeeeee!! That boy is going to be the death of me.

Fortunately, WineGuy took Moose home early and put him to bed. I only had Wizard and WT to wrangle home later. Wizard continued to act like an immature brat, so we finally left, too. If it weren’t for NaBloPoMo, I would already be in bed myself. In fact, that’s exactly where I’m headed.


2 thoughts on “Losing My …

  1. I was waiting to hear that you found them still in your bra. Seriously, I’ve seen people stash things in their bra on TV, in literature. But never knew anyone actually did it in person.


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