Cut Me

Dear Kitchen Gods,

I need to replace my  maple cutting board. It’s 16×24″, made of solid maple, has a flat side and a grooved side for carving messy things.  I have searched the Internet for this beast and am not having luck finding what I want. No, the board cannot be bigger:  it won’t fit into the kitchen sink, and my husband made it clear that the board must fit into the sink (so that he can wash it, leave it soaking wet, and cause this one to warp horribly like the first one).

My original board came from a cooking store in Shamokin Dam, PA. No, I don’t remember the name of the store, only that I used to shop there all the time … a dozen years ago. No, this kind of store does not exist in Shamokin Dam or Selinsgrove anymore. No, none of the cooking stores near The Zone have the right kind of board. What I’ve found locally is too large, too heavy, too light, not grooved, or plastic. I am not buying a synthetic board; they are bad for my nice French knives.

At this point, I won’t even fuss about price because I really need a new board. The old one looks like it’s kin to the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. Almost. Well, not really, but it could give a bow-legged sailor a run for his money. Please bring me a board soon. Otherwise, I’ll have to stop cooking and eat out all the time. Hmm, on second thought . . . .

Love,

Goldiblocks

(a/k/a Alto2)

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4 thoughts on “Cut Me

  1. lol! I can empathize. I had a hard time replacing my old cutting board too. I finally had to settle for bamboo. It’s okay, but it isn’t as nice as my old one.

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