Leave Me Alone

Today has been filled with old people and whiners. Seasonal residents, a/k/a snowbirds, have returned early to the Zone. Grocery shopping took 50% longer; old people were malingering in every department, poring over labels, fussing over the thickness of sliced deli meat, fighting over which one flavor of sale-priced frozen yogurt to buy. I wanted to pluck out every last nose hair.

Fortunately, Wizard was home when I arrived with the grocery bags. Not only did he help me unload and put things away, Wizard also cleaned out the refrigerator! I agreed to compensate him with the new Modern Warfare Wii game. Searching online, we found the game right next door at Sam’s Club. However, somehow Wizard got it in his head that he was getting a new Xbox system and that game for Xbox. Wizard harangued and harassed me all damn afternoon about the Xbox, so much so that I declared the subject closed until Chanukah.

Moose and Wild Thing complained loudly about their kitchen chores, which were done poorly and had to be redone. I retreated to the solitude of my bedroom to watch TV and read the paper. An hour later, WineGuy grumpily storms in and throws himself on the bed, nearly smashing me in the process. Why? Because he was cold. Why? Because the lanai door was open in the family room to let in the (finally cool) night air. Instead of merely closing the door, WG acted like a spoiled, petulant child, saying “I’m not going around closing all the doors and windows you opened.” One door. OMG, I’m going to scream.

I did. Told the man he was incredibly lazy, then I went to the family room. I’ve spent the evening amusing myself with
back-to-back episodes of “Say Yes To The Dress”. Wonderful, totally mindless drivel that drove every last male away.

Winning!! No men, no whining.

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