Try To Remember

It’s the first of September 2013. I haven’t blogged in months, could be years. This is the autumn of The Zone’s discontent for so, so many reasons. But, somewhere in the farthest reaches of the ether, between sporadic bouts of Words With Friends, I hear Sprite urging me to write, as she always does. It will soon be ’round midnight, and I’m waiting to pick up Wild Thing from his weekend trip to Clearwater, FL with his youth group. (The infernal bus will be 2 hours late.) I’m losing badly at Bubble Witch, so what’s a woman to do?

Blow the dust off the blog … a-choo! Give it a poke … yeah, there’s still some life in it somewhere. Listen to Wizard’s nocturnal wanderings and hope to G-d he leaves me the hell alone for a few minutes.

Although Florida students go back to school in mid-August, by Labor Day,  just about everyone else is headed back to school. My kids started school about 2 weeks ago. By now, they should be settling in to their routines.

By the grace of G-d Almighty, Wizard is a Senior at Zone High School. His unweighted GPA is 2.11; his weighted GPA is 2.77. His SATs are hovering just under 2000 (for math, verbal, writing), and his ACT is his best score, 31. Wizard thinks he will easily be accepted to one of the nearly elite small liberal arts colleges to which he aspires — including one early decision — and to any Florida public university to which he applies. When the dust finally settles next spring, I predict Wizard will have an impressive collection of college rejection letters because none of those schools is going to accept a mediocre candidate with a floridly overwritten essay and few redeeming qualities. The bright side is that if, by the time he graduates in May 2014 — please G-d — he is not headed for a 4-year school with a dorm, I will kick his happy ass out of my house the day after his 18th birthday in June. I kid you not; I even have a count-down app on my iPad. On 18th bday +1, his crap will be in my driveway, right along with the locksmith to change the locks on the house. Buh-bye.

Wild Thing is a Freshman at Zone HS. He took a couple of high school classes in 8th grade, so he already has a 3.6 to start high school. He’s running cross country on the boys’ JV team. He just got elected vice president of his youth group chapter. He’s considering running for student council, and he can’t wait to  join Key Club. True to form, WT always has a smile on his face and seems to be adapting well to the larger school. WT is in all honors classes and is taking AP Environmental Science this year, one of only 2 AP classes open to freshmen at Zone High. I need to enroll WT in the local college prep program because he will certainly need coaching for standardized tests.

Moose, my baby, is a 6th grader at Zone Middle School. We are finally done with the Snooty School, and I am thrilled to be done with private school tuition. As it turns out, Moose is pretty happy to have a fresh start in public school because his Snooty School classmates were the nastiest bunch of little monsters I’ve ever encountered. Moose is the first 6th grader ever to take Algebra I in our county’s school system. The dodos here previously only allowed 8th graders to take Algebra I (and Spanish I for that matter), but the county changed its policy last spring. Zone Middle’s principal agreed to allow Moose to take Algebra I in class and to take Spanish I through Florida Virtual School; Moose’s schedule has one independent study period in which he does his Spanish work online in the computer lab. This way, Moose devotes 45 minutes daily to the online course; it’s a much better situation than our chasing WT to complete his online course for the last 8 months.

If you’ve read this far, welcome back to The Testosterone Zone. I plan to be back tomorrow.

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