Zoned Out in the Zone

Once upon a time, everything Wizard did was so inane that all I could say was “duh” repeatedly. I even started a new blog, Planet Duh, and posted a few installments. Wizard’s behavior worsened, and Planet Duh receded to the farthest corners of my galaxy. After the stupid events of today, I think I need to return to Planet Duh. Read on …

Wizard drove me crazy getting in his SCEA (single choice early action) application to Tulane University. The deadline was November 1, and he insisted on submitting a paper application. Wizard was still writing his essay as I drove him to the post office. The essay and the entire application were hand-written because Wizard felt it would show more integrity that way. We snail-mailed the application with a signature confirmation.

Today, I was looking online to see when Tulane notifies its EA applicants. I learned from College Confidential that Tulane published its notices one day ago. I texted Wizard this afternoon and asked him whether he’d heard from Tulane. Here’s a transcript of the exchange; I transcribed his words verbatim from my phone.
Wiz: I have received no notice from them.
me: Tulane’s website said you should have received a username and password.
Wiz: I didn’t get any login information.
me: Search your email.
Wiz: Yet, people of numerous forums have been apprised of their decisions.
me: ::WTF?::  You never bothered to find out whether your app was complete? Call them now.
Wiz: I considered writing an email, however I had surmised that a decision might arrive via USPS mail.
me: website, username, password
Wiz: I’ll see what I can do.
me: (I copy, verbatim, the website’s language about checking application status.)
Wiz: Did you ever receive shipment confirmation from the Post Office?
me: No, you had the slip, and you were supposed to check online.
Wiz: You’re right. I had completely forgotten about that aspect.
A few minutes later, Wizard calls me and reports that he called Tulane Admissions directly. The office, now unaccustomed to dealing with paper applications, was JUST TODAY entering his data into the computer. It will take several weeks for them to evaluate his application. When he heard the news, he asked me whether he should withdraw and resubmit  his application for regular review. I replied “no, that will make you look incompetent and indecisive.”
Nobody’s kid is as clueless as mine. By applying SEAC, Wizard might have had half a chance to be admitted to Tulane. Although he’s very bright and his ACT score is high, his grades suck. His high school “resume”  is filled with half-assed attempts to join clubs. He can’t meet a deadline on time. He doesn’t submit the application in a way to facilitate its review, and he doesn’t even follow-up to check on his file.
All together now:  DUH.
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