For the longest time I thought that every rainbow was a promise from G-d not to destroy the world again. Since my dad died 8 years ago, I’ve tried to see rainbows as signs that things were looking up or were going to get better. Since Dad died, hearing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” makes me think of him and cry. 

Today, I was a backseat passenger in our sedan as Wild a Thing drove us to dinner. I saw the entire arc of a big rainbow, and my heart nearly broke. The song lyrics came to mind, as they always do, and I thought of the two men I loved the most and lost. I kept my face turned toward the window so the boys wouldn’t see my tears.

Rainbows aren’t magical right now. They are iridescent frowns reminding me of rainbows traversed with WineGuy and never to be reminisced about again with him. For now, I have to agree with Karen Carpenter, “rainy days and Mondays always get me down”.


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