AbandonMENt

Today is Father’s Day. It is the first Father’s Day we are spending without WineGuy here, and it’s not a great day. I’m feeling abandoned by the men in my life because the best of them are gone.

WineGuy left this earthly plane six weeks ago. I guess I’m still numb:  most days are pretty good interspersed with unpredictable sad moments. Two days ago, I took Moose and Wild Thing to see Disney/Pixar’s “Inside Out” What should have been a fun little animated movie left me missing WineGuy very much and made me endlessly sad.

My father passed away almost eight years ago. I have come to terms with his death, but the endless photos and Facebook tributes to fathers make me miss him a lot today. His brother, my favorite uncle, who was partially responsible for introducing me to WineGuy has been gone eighteen years. HIs grandchildren’s tributes to their father, my cousin, widen the hole in my heart today.

Finally, Moose left for summer camp today. I got up before the roosters to drive him to the airport. He flew by himself through Atlanta to Philadelphia, and I am endlessly proud of him. But, he will be missing from today’s maudlin little celebration of Wizard’s 19th birthday. Even with Wizard home for the day, I’m feeling like parts of me are missing. Myriad “I’m thinking of you today” messages from friends far and wide are not helping either.

This is all new. It’s certainly not normal. I wonder when that will be.

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