More Dead Appliances

Every few years the appliances in The Zone wheeze and die. Call the machine mortuary because this week’s obituary includes not one, but two, air conditioning systems in the house and the cable television service.

We have a two-story home, which used to be unusual in Florida. Our second floor is the true guts of The Zone because it houses the three boys’ bedrooms and their bathroom. (If you saw the condition of the carpeting, you’d understand why I said “guts” instead of heart or brain.) I’ve known for about a year that the a/c system upstairs was on its last legs, but until now I have not done anything about it. Why? Those of you who know WineGuy know that he doesn’t believe in spending discretionary dollars on home maintenance until there is a crisis.

Hello, Crisis calling.

Two days ago and one week after its semi-annual service, the a/c stopped working downstairs. The serviceman said that part of the air handler was rusted and that it only needed a part. He stated that the system should last a little while longer. I heard “a little while” and thought “a few months”. The a/c heard “a little while” and thought “a few hours”. Today, when the service team came to replace the part, they could not install it because apparently the entire base of the air handler is rusted and ready to give out. The unit is leaking water into the ceiling of the lanai, as evidenced by the pregnant bulge in the latex paint above the dining room doors. Ah, quality construction. Not. As the serviceman was explaining the state of things, his boss was calling me to give me quotes on replacing the downstairs a/c system. CHA-CHING! So, I got smart. I told the service boss that they can replace both a/c systems at the same time, but they have to upgrade the equipment and give me a better price. They did those things, but the bill is still just south of $10,000. Guess I’m not going to get new flooring upstairs anytime soon. However, the the installers will be here early tomorrow morning to install both new a/c systems. Yahoo!!

Once the servicemen left this morning, I sat down to eat my breakfast in front of the television. Click on … no picture. Click off … no DVR. Go to the bedroom. Same story: no picture, no sound. Go to the guest room; same story. I quickly called the a/c company to ask them if they unplugged anything, and of course, the reply came back “no”. Then I called Comcast, who graciously offered me a service appointment two days from now. Two days??? I spend nearly $200/month on telephone + cable/digital/HD/HBO/SHOWTIME television + high-speed Internet, and the most consideration I get is a first appointment slot (7:30 – 10:30A) 48 hours from now. Muerdame. (That’s Spanish for “bite me”.)

A few minutes ago, I called the a/c company to approve the contract and explained the TV problem. The service manager apologized profusely and commiserated with me. Just now, the service manager called me back saying that his general manager and he are coming down here  — right now — to see if they can hook up the television cables near the air handler. That’s what I call “customer service”!